Been here for more than a month and still can’t make myself like this place.
Places that u usually think have greener grass most often disappoint you to a point that makes you feel like you should just go home where u belong. Nonetheless, it does not stop me from FANTASIZING that there are certainly places who have greener grass than where I came from and where I am. Places who can accept me for who I am without discrimination. Places where people are neither PRETENTIOUS nor try to overly & excessively SUGARCOAT everything. Well, is that too much to ask for? Maybe. Maybe the place is called paradise. Since no human is perfect, I don think there is a place that’s perfect too. Well, I didn’t ask for a paradise. Just am lookin’ for a place which is more LIVABLE, HABITABLE & ENDURABLE or I’ll be as inhumane as a rock.
WORK: what once seemed manageable now seem daunting, insane, unreasonable & beyond human comprehension. Every single day i go to work with a soggy long face, refuse to go. Overpowering my anger is a sense of determination. A voice inside of me urge :
" If you can’t get through this, you can’t get through anything else. "
Sometimes I could just stare at the office blankly for a long time n can’t come up with any ideas. It wasn’t so much a mental block as it was a mental overload.Everyday is a test for me. Everyday i imagining the worst that could happen. But when each day’s over, I’ll chide myself for my paranoia.
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I flippin’ miss my time spent in the tiny li’l town I’m from. I used to have NOTHING to do other than watch my toenails grow. PEACEFUL.
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Some random pictures of Singapore Firewox Celebration in Aug 2007 :
