Archive for August, 2006

Red Hot Chilli Powder Ass

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Thank you all for the hugs n wishes. Thank you ppl who gave me space to be alone. And of course thanks to some mean people who made mean jokes about it.

Me : Hey "friend", my hamster died :(
Friend : What? well, it’s just a rodent ok? what’s so big about it?
Me : :|
Friend : What did you do with it? Did u fry then eat it? Hehehe..
Me : x-( Wha… the fu … el …..
Me : *I’d sure love to shove a hot frying pan with red hot chilli powder up her ass man!* I thought

Introducing Creamy!

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Creamy

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever ham
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are my
Forever ham
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Josh Groban | To Where U Are

Creamy makin kangaroo jumps when I transfered them  into a big box while cleaning the cage n bedding. I apologize for the poor quality.

Wasn’t It Too Soon?

Sunday, August 27th, 2006

I’m still not over it, i’ll never get over it! Visions of his last hour kept coming back to haunt me. I keep havin flashbacks about what happened earlier. I cracked my head thinking what could have made him cripple. I should have taken him in my arms earlier when i sensed something was wrong. I should have taken him to the vet even though it’s 2am in the morn and let ppl say i’m crazy. How many should have’s should i have?

I’m struggling to keep my composure well, I don wanna burst into tears in the office. I’m not replying msg cuz i can’t answer any questions about him and i don’t want to be comforted and i don’t want ppl to tell me everything is going to be alright cuz it’s not.

After putting him nicely in the tiny little box. I took him downstairs and placed it on my file. I did not tell my bro about the news. When he came down to take me to work, he was curious about the box. I was in the kitchen at that time and he just opened it without my permission. I wanted to shout at him DON’T OPEN IT but i realized that i lost my voice and i burst into tears telling him It’s GONE! Close It! He was taken aback n kept asking me why! I wanted to bang my head on the wall and ask him to stop asking.

Actually when i took it downstairs i had no idea how to get rid of Creamy. It wasn’t right to just throw away. Would the ground in the front lawn deep enough for burying? Would bro allow me to do so? But after he found out, he voluntarily dug a hole n buried Creamy. It was heart shattering to put him in that hole. And bro said hey it’s ok, let’s send him to heaven.

Dear Creamy,
It’s raining heavily outside |
I guess the heaven is crying with me |
But I’m letting you go |
I’m sure HE will take you to a better place than mine |
I’ll see you in another life yeah?

Isn’t It Too Soon? - Part 2

Sunday, August 27th, 2006

I woke up at 5am to check on him. There was no heartbeat anymore, I didn’t wanna touch or poke him. I just cried myself to sleep again and prayed for a miracle in my dream.

I’ve stroked him n sayang him one last time and finally closed the lid of the little box i put him in since i knew he got hurt. Oh gawd, how it hurts! I felt like a mom watchin her son dying of cancer and when i stroked his back, with every stroke i made, i wished that his heartbeat would spur to life like a motorboat. But it stayed still, motionless, stiff and lifeless but still warmmm….

Yea u’d probably think it’s just a rodent, y care so much?

Yea why? Cuz when I put my heart into something i love, i put my 110% in. I never treated them as a bunch of useless rodents. Even if some bite, I’d find ways to get close to them, to get to know them, to get them play on my body or my table, that’s how i could come up with their names after 2 weeks.  I wanted each to be special in their own way.

Creamy was one of the closest one, he’d climbed on me almost every single day. We’d see eye to eye and I’d talk to him. Sometimes he bit my fat fingers, mb he thought they were food. He was adorable, he could climb, he could run, and he even did a kangaroo jump last week. It was so cute.

I think I’ll never end if I don’t stop now.

I did put some holy ash n said some prayers to him b4 i slept. I just hoped he went off painless and without suffer. I have no reason to be angry with God although I did ask him "Wasn’t it too soon?"

Tears would just flow whenever I imagine Creamy.
How I wish I could take this day off and let my tears flood to wherever he is right now.

The unacceptable thing about death is when you don’t know what actually happened and what caused it to happen and you don’t wanna be pointing fingers. How I wish I could send the body in for a post mortem. How could a cute, cuddly little furry baby hav died from broken limbs when I couldn’t see anything happen at all?! I’m sure I was watching them all the time except the time i went to have a shower since i came back last night.

Isn’t It Too Soon?

Sunday, August 27th, 2006

It’s 2:02a.m. now and I should have been sleeping on my bed after havin a long day of entertainment and I have to work tomorrow. And I SHOULD be watching over my Creamy right now rather than writing here.

Who’d wanna hear me cry in the middle of the night? Where could i vent my anger? Who could hear me screaming? Who could feel my pain of hearing him scratch the floorboads of the box i put him in? Who could do the job of imagining what’s happening in that box for me cuz it’s torturing.

When i reached home at around 10p.m. All the hammies are so bubbly and playful, despite 2 had been out with me the whole day for shopping. I left Creamy and Tickles at home cuz i can’t take all out I would have gone mad. Or mb some already thought i was mad enough to take them out.

I’ve always kept my eyes on the white one called Creamy cuz he’s the skinniest and I wanna make sure he isn’t getting any diseases or illnesses. I’d love to see all to be happy and playful, I don’t mind the painful biting, although I do sometimes. When i came back, I noticed he has bcome rounder and fatter which was a good news for me. Until just about an hour ago, i saw the others started biting his ears or cleaning his fur for him or so I thought. And he started walking in his sleep, going around the cage about 10 rounds. Run to a corner, stop, run to a corner, stop. And I begin to worry. I transported the other 3 to a box and took a closer look at Creamy. He’s in sucha deep sleep, I poked him gently, I called him, I tickled him like I used to, he gave no response to me. I panicked and quickly observed the heartbeat. Mb i was just being a paranoid. Maybe he was tired running the wheels all day? OK, fine.

I tried to lift him up. He didn’t resist at all. And he quickly fell asleep on my palm which none of the hams did before and it was a very sweet experience. I held him for a long long time. He never woke up.And when he finally did, somethin was totally wrong. How come he felt so spineless. And I found out he has 2 broken limbs. How could this happen? I didn’t drop him I didn’t do anything I didn’t see anything happened! How come? Oh Lord how come? It’s so tortorous to see him crawling. The heart screams in indescribable agony.

I’m Sorry

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

An article by Anonymous :

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He  said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn’t  watching for you."

We were very polite,  this stranger and I.

We went on our way  and we said good-bye.

But at home a  different story is told,

How we treat our  loved ones, young and old.

Later that day,  cooking the evening meal,

My son stood  beside me very still.

When I turned, I  nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the  way !!" I said with a frown.

He walked away,  his little heart broken.

I didn’t realize  how harshly I’d spoken.

While I lay awake  in bed,

God’s still small voice came to me  and said,

While dealing with a stranger,  common courtesy you use,

But the children  you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look  on the kitchen floor,

You’ll find some  flowers there by the door.

Those are the  flowers he brought for you.

He picked them  himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood  very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.
"

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found ‘em, out by the tree.

I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like  you.

I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the  blue."
I said, "Son, I’m very sorry for  the way I acted today;

I shouldn’t have  yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh,  Mom, that’s okay. I love you anyway."

I  said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers,

especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,

The company that we are working for could easily  replace us in

a matter of  days.

But the family we left behind will  feel the loss for the rest of

their lives.

And come to think of it, we  pour ourselves more into work than

            into  our own family,

            an unwise investment  indeed, don’t you think?

Stubbornness is Pure Stupidity

Monday, August 21st, 2006

Thought of the day :
Stubbornness is PURE Stupidity

JOY TO THE WORLD!l

Thursday, August 17th, 2006

Geez! I’m on leave tomorrow! YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!

I was so darn scared to ask the boss. I was thinking should i bring my li’l luggage tmr + my camera + my 4 baby ham hams + some other tiling talang to office and then give excuse during lunch time to catch the last VIP bus at 3.30pm?

Percentage of goin was 50% - 50%. Should I or should i not go through ALL those terrible journey just for a one day fun if i had chosen to go on Saturday. And then i was like nahh .. just stay at home n sleep lah. And then i was browsing through the bus schedules, last bus is 1.30pm dammit!! I have to decide NOW! no more dilly dally no more.

So i took the phone, typed a message:
*boss name*, is there any work i muz do tmr? cz i wish 2 take off around 12 to travel to Cameron. bt if there r thngs 2 work on. I cn go on sat :)

i wanted to delete it and forget about it and go to sleep. then i saved it.. then i wana send d.. then aiyah.. like auntie like dat la think alot. then can’t tahan d. my adrenaline was pumping. the words jungle trekking jungle trekking jungle trekking echoing in my ears. and i SENT the msg.

Heart was racing, waiting for the either-u-make-or-break-it message from boss. AND WOOHOO. I was jumping n hopping to the phone n called up the VIPs of my heart to inform them.

So, ppl whom i chat with everyday from d office. in case i’m goin to get the earliest bus. i won on9 at 8.45a.m tmr, i won’t tell you what breakfast i eat tmr, there’s no hugs n kisses n sniffs tmr, there’s no whining and complaining tmr, there’s no yawning and banging head on the walls tmr, there’s no auntie gossiping tmr, there’s nobody kacau-ing u all tmr. But I’LL B BACK >:) with baskets full of fresh veggies and sweet corns and of coz strawberries!

Some might think it’s a boring place to go to, which was what i thought a couple of years back until 2 months ago i went up and got "knocked off the horse" experience meeting people that turned my life around. And the place itself is enchanting … no i don’t mean goin to those gardens or those tourist spots. i mean goin deeeeeep into the valley and see everything through new eyes, through the doors and windows of ppl who have lived there for a few decades and experience heaven.

To All The Interns Out There!

Monday, August 14th, 2006

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.
"It’s the CEO of the company, you fool!"

The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"
"No." replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.

In Memory Of Danny Lee

Sunday, August 13th, 2006

~~ I grabbed this piece of news about Dan from Abby’s blog this morning ~~